The Maury Povich of Evil Geneticists: “Monsters”

“If I seem a little nervous, it’s because I’ve never been this close to a real-life Loch Ness monster before.  But I’ll wager you’ve never been this close to a real-life gargoyle, either.  Guess that kind of makes us even.” — Angela


Written by: Cary Bates

Original Air Date: November 28, 1995

Introduces: Original Nessie, Other Nessie, Spawn of Nessies

Timeline placement: January 16 – 18, 1996

Location: Loch Ness, Scotland

TMNT episodes I could make variably forced comparisons to: “Monster Hunter“, “Junklantis”

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And that’s why you always leave a note: “Kingdom”

“You wanna be in charge? Speak now, or hold your peace.” — Talon vlcsnap-2015-03-09-15h41m32s231 Written by: Marty Isenberg and Robert Skir

Original Air Date: February 5, 1996

Introduces: Al, Chaz, Lou

Timeline placement: January 4 – 5, 1996

TMNT episode I could make a forced comparison to: “Garbageman

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Why I Don’t Like David Xanatos


When it was first suggested that I write a “Why I Like…” post about David Xanatos, I decided to punt, for two reasons. First, I was not certain that I had anything interesting or new to say about the character. Second, I was, and currently am, undergoing a process of reevaluating whether or not I actually like him. So I’m doing something a bit different here and allowing some criticism to spill into my thoughts.

David Xanatos is in many ways the breakout star of Gargoyles, and possibly the one single element that caused the most impact on subsequent works. He shouldn’t be—that distinction, in a righteous world, would have gone to Elisa Maza—but there’s no denying that he’s become far bigger than the show that spawned him. And its not hard to see why: although not, technically speaking, the first of his kind—the Lex Luthor seen in season 1 of Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman has a crapload of similarities, and had his heyday a year before Gargoyles debuted—he nevertheless opened up the world of western animation, by showing a new type of villain the medium hadn’t really seen before.  While he hasn’t been replicated, big bads in general have become more like him, and the character itself has become synonymous with cultured, manipulative, clever villainy.

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On bodily autonomy

There are three differences of note between what Elizabeth O’Neil did to her husband in the IDW comics and what David Xanatos attempted to do to Hudson in “The Price”.

  1. Xanatos kept Hudson abreast of just how exactly the gargoyles’ bodily autonomy was being violated, while Elizabeth kept John O’Neil in the dark.
  2. Elizabeth actually succeeds, while Hudson escapes.
  3. The ooze actually does what Elizabeth wants it to do, while the Cauldron of Life, as it turns out, doesn’t.


Everything Has Its Time: “The Price”

“Death and old age have their price…and it’s too expensive for me” — David Xanatos

“A price is something you get.  A cost is something you lose.”Cordelia Naismith, Shards of Honor

Written by: Michael Reaves
Original Air Date: October 12, 1995
Introduces: The Cauldron of Life
Timeline placement: December 22, 1995 – December 23
TMNT episode I could make a forced comparison to: N/A

[Content Note: Suicide, Dementia, Alzheimer’s, Euthanasia]

[Spoilers Note: This post contains spoilers for the episode “The Gathering”]

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Random Gargoyles-related Musings: Maths and Magic Spells

Okay, so we’re told in “City of Stone” that Xanatos planned to steal one minute of life from anyone who watched his broadcast.  Assuming that he can only draw one minute from one person whenever the spell is cast, this means he needs:

  • 60 people to see and hear the spell in order to get an hour.
  • 1,440 people to do the same in order to gain a day.
  • 525,600 in order to gain a year
  • 5,256,000 in order to gain a decade.
  • 525,600, 000 in order to get a millennium.

The population of New York City in 1995 was 7,658,000, according to this document; assuming that the plan was always to leave the broadcast up for a day, it’s possible–or at least plausible–for Xanatos to hit the target for a decade of extra life, and for him to do so repeatedly over an extended period of time (although how he’d do so without somebody noticing a pattern would take some doing).   However, given Demona’s much more high target, there’s absolutely no way such a spell could have ever been responsible for her longevity.

Conclusion: Xanatos hates math.

Unwound: “The Cage”

“You’re just the experiment.” — David Xanatos

The Cage

Written by: Lydia C. Marrano
Original Air Date: November 16, 1995
Introduces: Beth Maza (Physical Presence); Vinnie Grigori (unnamed, 1st intentional, non-retconned appearance)
Timeline placement: December 19, 1995 – December 20
TMNT episode I could make a forced comparison to: “Triceraton Wars
[Content Note: Suicide, Depression, Ableism]

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